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My Playing with Fire journey

Wednesday 25th January 2012

Reflections from Josh Selfe, a recent participant on the Playing with Fire course

On the tube back and forth from the Leap offices while I was participating on the “Playing with Fire” course I entertained my self by reading Three men on the Bummel, by Jerome K Jerome. On the way home from the last day of the course I read the final chapter of the book, and the last paragraph read as follows…

“A ‘Bummel’,” I explained, “I should describe as a journey, long or short, without an end; the only thing regulating it being the necessity of getting back within a given time to the point from which one started. Sometimes it is through busy streets, and sometimes through the fields and lanes; sometimes we can be spared for a few hours, and sometimes for a few days. But long or short, but here or there, our thoughts are ever on the running of the sand. We nod and smile to many as we pass; with some we stop and talk awhile; and with a few we walk a little way. We have been much interested, and often a little tired. But on the whole we have had a pleasant time, and are sorry when it’s over.” Three men on the Bummel – Jerome K Jerome

So I would describe my experience of the Playing with Fire course as being a Bummel. It gave me the opportunity to take 6 days out of a busy work life in order to reflect upon my own relationship to anger, conflict and confrontation. The only definite factor was the time, it had to end on the 6th day. But as for the journey itself, it could go whatever way you wanted to let it take you. The course is designed in such a way that the partisipants shape the direction it takes. In my work life I deal with a lot of conflict, so wanted to engage with this training in order to help me with this role, but the most helpful part of the training is the way it encourages you to explore conflict within your own life before looking at helping others with theirs.

The course uses exercises, games and discussion to provoke thoughts within the participants, which I actually found much more helpful than the standard death-by-powerpoint approach that so many courses take. Playing with Fire was deeply personal and open, during the time spent there a small community is created amongst the participants. This, for me, was the real strength of the course; it empowered each person in the room to coach one another and support each other in the learning. The facilitators were just that, they weren’t merely trainers or teachers whose duty it was to cram a bunch of stuff into our heads, but rather they were there to facilitate the Bummel each individual was making.

I’m sure for each of the 13 people who were on the course the journey looked different and took each of us to different places. There’s no way I could sit down and take an exam about what I’d learned over the 6 days, it wasn’t that kind of learning. But for me, the journey brought up challenges and thoughts which I will look forward to continuing to work through, as well as giving me resources and tools that I can use when helping others explore their own conflicts. I can definitely say ” [I] have been much interested, and often a little tired. But on the whole [I] have had a pleasant time, and [am] sorry when it’s over.”

by Josh Selfe